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A very short synopsis for The Endangered.

on Sat May 12, 2018 2:30 pm
Hi everyone.
I thought I'd share a recent 300 word synopsis I came up with for the Deviant Minds Submission for crime/thrillers run by the Heath agency. I know we all struggled to tell our stories on a page for the course, but 300 words is... well... taking the mick! Anyway, I got it down to 314 and am hoping no-one complains about the slight over-run! Smile

Someone’s doing what we’ve all longed to do: he’s hunting the hunters.

When Kruger National Park ranger Mandla hears gunfire on a game drive, he isn’t surprised to find a dead rhino at the side of the road. When he finds the bullet-riddled and decapitated corpses of the poachers, however, he realises he has a vigilante on his hands. Someone’s poaching the poachers and Mandla quickly figures out that he not only knows the killer but also shares a past with him.

THE ENDANGERED is a crime/thriller told through the eyes of Mandla and vigilante Andries. Much of the action unfolds in the Kruger when Andries plots to snare Lam Sung Gia, a Vietnamese poaching kingpin. Abducting Lam’s son, he forces the Vietnamese to South Africa, setting off a chain of deadly events and a showdown on the banks of Kruger’s Lepelle River.

We learn that Mandla and Andries first met in 1988 during the last years of the apartheid regime. Ten-year-old Mandla witnesses the arrest of his father for suspected anti-government activity. One of the arresting officers is Andries, a young, white animal-loving Afrikaner corporal.

The cruelty dished out to Mandla’s father and other political prisoners, however, turns Andries against fellow officers, especially the devious Lieutenant du Toit and Sergeant Visser. When they force Andries to beat a prisoner whose young daughter awaits news at the police station’s reception, he offers his resignation only to see the man murdered by these officers. And when du Toit makes an example of Andries, scarring him for life, Andries snaps and plots revenge.

Damaged in both body and mind, Andries the vigilante is born, his mission: the protection of ‘innocents’. And now, he and Mandla are fighting the same cause: to save a species from extinction. But that’s where the similarity ends. Mandla plays by the book. For Andries, murder is all in a day’s work.
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Re: A very short synopsis for The Endangered.

on Sun May 13, 2018 11:46 am
This reads really well, Rob! Congrats - not easy cutting it down to 300 words.

You could maybe cut some words here:

- "he offers his resignation only to see the man murdered by these officers."
- "And now, he and Mandla are fighting the same cause: to save a species from extinction. But that’s where the similarity ends. while Mandla plays by the book, for Andries, murder is all in a day’s work."

Not quite 14 words... but closer to that magical 300.

Good luck with the submission!
Matt
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Re: A very short synopsis for The Endangered.

on Fri May 18, 2018 11:00 am
Thanks Matt. Will take your cuts on board too. I don't think a 300 word synopsis is often asked for, so maybe I may not need it again. But it's useful to have in the armoury, so to speak. Smile
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Re: A very short synopsis for The Endangered.

on Fri May 18, 2018 10:35 pm
Hi Rob, fair play getting it down to 300 words. I think I’ve to do the same for something I’m submitting my novel to in September. Maybe change the last lines to get it under 300 - leave it more subtle? Like ‘they play the same deadly game but by very, very, different rules.

If that doesn’t work for you, I think if you rest it and look back after a few days there are occasional words you could cut.

Also toying in my head is the line ‘Blood will be spilled, the question is what species / whether it will be animal or human...

Good luck anyway!
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Re: A very short synopsis for The Endangered.

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